omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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