Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize