one two three fourrrrnication!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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