it hurts more in the daytime
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
