THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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