i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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