i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
