I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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