Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
