so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
