I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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