sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
