If that was your dad, he is hot
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
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it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
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Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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