im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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