I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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