i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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