So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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