mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
