Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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