you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
