your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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