i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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