I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
