Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize