Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
high people should be assigned attendants
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
