just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
