so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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