I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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