you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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