Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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