I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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