Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
