Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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