At least make sure they are 18
Why
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
