Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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