I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
