He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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