sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize