You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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