after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff