covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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