Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.