So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not