I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We're too hungover to prance.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
