I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
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you told grandpa to call you daddy
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.