You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
