I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
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she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!