Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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