Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
