I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
