Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
