I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
