According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
