apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
