Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize