Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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