Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
