Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
