There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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