if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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