what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
