"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
