Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
